I am all about positive living and giving everyone a second chance. Sometimes first impressions aren't the best. I'm sure that I've given a bad first impression a time or two.
I'd hate to be written off because of one bad day. Being the empath that I am, I do my best to put myself in everyone's shoes and give them the benefit of the doubt. However, there are some things that I have a really hard time overlooking. There are some women that I just don't want to be friends with.
1. The woman bad mouthing others
If there's anything that gives me a bitter taste in my mouth it's a woman that does nothing but bad mouth others. I recently attended an event and the group of women (moms) next to be sat for a good 40 minutes talking badly about other moms. It made me wonder if there was anything more to their friendship. Is that all they do? I would never feel comfortable approaching them and definitely wouldn't feel comfortable walking away from them. What would they say about me? There are two sides to every story and any mature adult knows that. If a woman is going out of her way to talk badly about someone to me then I really have to wonder what really happened? It makes me question her character, self esteem, and loyalty.
2. The negative nancy
Growing up, I was surrounded by negative people. I had no choice but to live with parents that were always angry – yelling, complaining, and fighting. The moment I turned 18 and moved out, I made a conscious effort to keep that sort of negativity out of my life. I didn't have a choice then, but I do now. If a woman is angry all the time, complaining about every little thing, and thinking negatively, how will I ever be a friend that makes her happy? I want a friend that looks into a bright future with me. I need a woman that is going to build me up and help me flip a negative into a positive. My emotions are very much influenced by others. I can't have a negative energy in my life dulling my smile!
3. The woman who doesn't look my way
Sometimes I feel like I'm in high school again. Even as grown ass women, we still find ourselves being shunned by the richer, prettier girls. Seriously, my class reunion is coming soon and the “popular girls” decided to kick out the girl who planned it all and take over… that's another story. We are adults, people! Don't we know that we are equals by now? If there's one thing that I hate it's a woman that doesn't even look my way. I try to acknowledge everyone, so when I'm completely ignored it really gives me a bad vibe. I've been to events within my community where I say hi to women (that I always see) and they completely turn the other way, as if I'm bothering them. Basically, if you don't look my way then I don't want to be friends with you – not now, not ever. If you're doing this to me, then who else are you doing it to?
4. The woman that doesn't ask questions
This goes right along with the woman who doesn't look my way, I don't like when women ask me questions. It sounds silly, but let me explain. When I meet someone and I find them interesting – I ask them questions. I've learned that it helps calm my social anxiety, keeps the conversation going, and deepens a bond. Some of the sweetest women I've met have been very much interested in who I am, as I was with them. It just makes sense. If we've met quite a few times and you still haven't really tried to know me, then I get it – you don't want to pursue a friendship with me. “It's not you, it's me”.
5. The close-minded woman
I am going to try to make this short and sweet. It's a subject that I'm very passionate about, so I could ramble on and on for days. I could start an entire blog about it, but I wont because the nasty comments would hurt my empathetic heart. A close-minded person (woman or man) is something that I cannot deal with. I am very rough-around-the-edges, as I like to say. I have tattoos, I curse way too much, I can be very emotional, and I'm not your picture perfect housewife. Who am I to judge? How could I ever judge someone when I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and I know you have, too. Every woman (human) has made mistakes and probably has a few moments that they aren't so proud of. I could never be friends with a woman that is judging me or making assumptions based on my looks, the way I talk, where I live, or because of a bad decision. I want a ride or die friend – one that will stand up for me, not talk behind my back.
This post may contain affiliate links and/or promotional products, all opinions expressed are that of But First, Joy only. Read my full disclosure.