But First, Joy | A wellness blog inspiring ordinary women to find joy in everyday things.

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Inspiring ordinary women to find joy in everyday things.

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DON’T BE ASHAMED TO MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY. ‼️

As women, we’re constantly being taught to put others first. We are expected to push ourselves to our breaking point for our children, careers, partners, and family.

The world wants us to DO it all and BE it all but to not take credit for any of it.

They say to love yourself and be confident but not too much or you’re arrogant.

Don’t show or express emotions because it makes others uncomfortable. 😏

Don’t ask for what you want & need as a woman in this world because that’s selfish and bossy.

LADIES: I want to encourage you to throw all that BS out the window. 🙅🏻‍♀️

We ARE here to be seen and heard. 👏 So, take up space. Be loud. Be bold. Drop the F bomb. Wear the low cut dress. Laugh at inappropriate things. Leave your house a mess. Or, do the opposite. Just BE YOU. Say and do nice things for yourself because YOU DESERVE IT!

Women are the mothers of the world. 💟 We are meant to guide just by being our authentic selves.

So, take what you need to take. Take the affirmations and if you need more – click the link in my bio. 👈

LET’S CHAT: What do you need to hear today?

#takewhatyouneed #positiveaffirmations #selfhealing #bekindtoyourself

HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU? 🥺 Life is goin

HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU? 🥺

Life is going great. You’ve finally accomplished a big goal or you’ve found a place of comfort and healing. You’ve reached new levels of growth...

Then, out of nowhere... 💥 you have a mountain of uncomfortable and difficult things happen to you ALL AT ONCE.

That’s what I’m currently experiencing.

It’s hard. I’m not going to pretend that it isn’t. It’s hard to stay optimistic and motivated when it feels like it’s YOU against the world.

BUT...

I want you to remember this:

When you’re doing great things, you’ve reached a new level. Your aura and vibrations are just... different.

So, new things are thrown your way. You’re being tested. The universe is attracted to these new vibrations and it wants to see what you’ve got.

The universe (or God) is asking you: Do you believe you’re WORTH the better things that I want to give to you? Are you strong enough to handle the weight that comes with bigger and better things?

The answer is: YES. YOU CAN HANDLE THIS. YES. YOU ARE WORTH IT. DON’T DOUBT YOURSELF. 💁🏻‍♀️

Keep those vibes high, my sisters! 🌟 Feel what you need to feel, go through the motions, and get back up when you’re ready.

Show the Universe that you’re ready to accept all the things you’ve been working for. & The more you show up with all your gloriousness – the more beautiful things you’ll attract. 🖤✨

How will you show up today and tomorrow? Even when you’re at your lowest?

For me, I promised myself to move my body no matter how much physical or emotional pain I’m in. I’ll show up doing least 1 nice thing for myself daily. I will NOT revert back to my old ways of coping: negative self-talk, bitterness, and emotional spending 😬.

BECAUSE I AM WORTH MORE. I want to live better so I will BE BETTER even when it’s hard and feels impossible. 💖

#selftalk #loveyourselffirst #personaldevelopment #showupforyourself

I lost my grandmother a few days ago. While the

I lost my grandmother a few days ago.

While the pain is fresh and the grief is incredibly heavy, I am being very mindful with how I handle this loss.

My first instinct when I got the news was to ask myself what I could have done or said to make her life more enjoyable.

My second instinct was to beat myself up for what I didn’t do.

The third, was to ignore my feelings, hide my pain, and distract myself until her loss didn’t feel so heavy anymore.

There’s no right way to grieve but I can assure you that all that I mentioned, will not bring you closer to a place of peace.

We are beautiful, imperfect humans who have a tendency to either dwell on the negative or completely avoid feeling.

In reality, I know I was a wonderful granddaughter to her. I made a point to talk to her often, to openly express gratitude to her throughout my life, and to include her in the simple and grand moments.

Yet, there I was, beating myself up for not being around enough during a pandemic. 🤦🏻‍♀️ It was my instinct and it’s not what she would have wanted from me.

The deep healing work I’ve done in the past 6 months prepared me for THIS moment and allowed me to pay attention to my self-talk.

With that said, I’d like to share this advice:

You cannot heal unless you feel.

Numbing your pain, whether it be with illegal/unhealthy substances or distractions, will not make it go away. Doing so, is only postponing those feelings for a sober, quiet day.

So please, grieve when you need to grieve. Cry when you need to cry. Express your feelings when you’re on the verge of exploding. Pay attention to your self-talk and don’t stop caring about yourself even in your greatest moments of despair.

It’s okay to be vulnerable, it’s okay to seek professional help. It’s okay to be a human with real feelings.

It’s NOT okay to give up on yourself. You’re stronger than you think. I promise.

Thank you for reading. 🖤✨ – Joyce S.

#griefjourney #griefquotes #griefsupport #dontstoploving #selfcarejourney

Shout out to the moms who have absent mothers. 🙋🏻‍♀️ It’s not easy to parent without guidance or support.

I see you. I feel you. I understand the pain and confusion it brings to have a mother who chooses not to be in your life.

You deserve more.

You deserve to feel the love a mother gives to her children, the sense of security a mother gives, the endless motherly wisdom that’s passed from a mother to her daughter.

Even when you feel desperate in motherhood, I promise you this:

You’re doing a great job. You’re breaking generational cycles. Your children see you. You are their safe place and always will be. 🫂

And when you feel lost, trust your instinct. Your ancestors are guiding you. 🖤✨

I promise you have everything inside of you to raise those children with the compassion, love, and support you never received.

Keep going, mama. Nobody can do it like you. 🙌
— xoxo, Joyce at butfirstjoy.com

#lonelymom #unfilteredmotherhood #motherlessdaughters #motherlessparenting #motherlywisdom

I don’t always know what to say when I see the w

I don’t always know what to say when I see the world falling apart around me. As an empath, my heart aches heavily and because of that, I’ve found myself sitting in silence rather than standing up in support of my fellow human beings.

No longer will I do this. I understand that my silence speaks loudly and I’ve been too overwhelmed to say anything at all. For that, I apologize.

I see very clearly that this is WHITE PRIVILEGE.

My inaction has been truly shameful. Especially as a woman who has always been an advocate for #LoveOverHate.

I haven't said it ENOUGH so I will say this here today: I can feel your pain, friends. I know you're hurting and I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that everyone doesn't see your worth – but I do. I'm sorry your friends aren't standing up for you – but I will. And I will raise my children to do the same. ✊🏻✊🏽✊🏿

For my other friends, family, or supporters, I just want to remind you that I don't support or accept any kind of hate on my feeds or in my life – AT ALL.

If you stand for anything (or anyone) that encourages hate, I don’t want you in my space. 👋👋

If you’re like me and have been silent or just at a loss for WHAT to do/say to be an ally, my advice is:

STAND UP and SPEAK LOUD when you see or hear something offensive or harmful to anyone. It may not feel like a lot or enough – but it is.

Together, we can educate, protect, and set clear boundaries on what isn’t okay. A single person, in their lifetime, can save so many lives – by simply speaking up for what is right.

🙅‍♀️I encourage all of my friends to stop with the silence.

🙅‍♀️ Stop supporting people and businesses who ignore injustices and world issues.

🙅‍♀️ Stop pretending to be okay with family members and friends who make racist comments.

🙅‍♀️ Stop nodding your head when someone in power explains why they support ANYTHING that goes against basic human rights.

Who you support is a direct reflection of who you are.

✨ Please, share the stories of Asians and other POC, support their businesses, HIRE them, REACH OUT to them, let them know they aren’t in this fight alone!

#stopasianhate #stopaapihate #blacklivesmatter #blm

This is the shit I live for... life’s simple ple

This is the shit I live for... life’s simple pleasures. 🖤✨

It’s my son, cuddled up next to me on the couch, with his legs slung over me. A sign of complete comfort; a display of affection.

It’s pjs pants with characters and sitcoms plastered all over them (thanks @m0therthrifter). A gentle reminder not to take life too seriously; a simple reminder to choose comfort over style.

It’s staying up way too late just to watch one more episode of that show you thought you’d hate. Laughing to yourself as the rest of the house sleeps, knowing you’ll regret it in the morning... kinda.

It’s reading a damn good book until you’re forcing your eyes to focus because it’s 3am and you’ve been up since 6. It’s loving the story so much that you have trouble separating fiction from reality.

It’s splurging on takeout from your favorite restaurant because nobody else is around and you damn well deserve it. Doing a little dance before you eat, taking a picture for The Gram, and savoring every bite.

This is the shit I LIVE for! The tiny moments that make the days a little more special, that make life a little more whole.

Sisters, what are you living for?

#lifessimplepleasures #itsthelittlethings #butfirstjoy #findthejoy

If you’re a woman who isn’t feeling her best l

If you’re a woman who isn’t feeling her best lately, I want to remind you of a few things:

1. We were chosen to be the glue. We hold our families together. We make connections and build bonds that are so powerful that even the strongest forces can’t tear us apart.

2. We’re also the fuel. 🔥 Women keep things running smoothly. With pep talks, empathy, compassion, and an unexplainable force within us, we are the ones who push things to the next level. Even more powerful, we can pull people from the darkest spaces and make them feel light again.

3. Women are life. We literally create life. We build life. We protect the lives of others. We nurture people, pets, and plants back to life. We are truly MAGICAL! ✨

If you aren’t feeling confident lately, if the world is beating you down, if you just can’t seem to get out of bed some days – just know that you CAN and you WILL find your happy place again. You’ll find your spark. Just feel everything you need to feel, move through the waves, and allow yourself time to heal.

Happy #InternationalWomensDay to all my sisters on here. Visit my stories to see my highlighted women-owned shops/accounts! 💖✨ #womensupportingwomen

HOW TO SET STRICT BOUNDARIES: 1. Treat yourself a

HOW TO SET STRICT BOUNDARIES:

1. Treat yourself and others with kindness. This will raise your vibration and ward off those who don’t match your energy.

2. Have respectful conversations with those who violate your boundaries. 
3. Don’t violate your OWN boundaries.

4. Say NO to others more and YES to yourself often – without feeling guilty. 
5. Stand by everything you believe in and be LOUD about how you feel on important topics such as rac!sm, abuse, boundaries, and self-love. 
Ask yourself: Who do I need to set clearer boundaries with? Am I respecting my own boundaries? Are there toxic relationships that I need to end? Am I being true to myself?

#healthyboundaries #boundariesarehealthy #boundariesarebeautiful #settingboundaries