Skip to Content

Third Trimester Blues: Pregnant, Lonely, and in Pain

I can't be the only one who suffered from the third trimester blues. To say that I'm pregnant, lonely, and in pain is seriously an understatement.

My emotions are all over the place and all I want is a little comfort that doesn't come with a statement that says, “it's worth it.” This one goes out to the imperfect pregnant women who are struggling just like me!

pregnant lonely in pain third trimester

To me, QUALITY means authenticity and transparency. If we can’t be true to ourselves then how can we be a voice for someone else?

This is my year of quality which means laying everything on the table, in my real, open, and honest way.

My blog is my platform and I want to talk about everything that makes me the broken, beautiful woman that I am in hopes that I can touch someone out there!

So, this one is for the the moms-to-be who are struggling with the pregnancy blues. I know I’m not the only one. I’ve been afraid to write this but I made a promise to myself and to all of you.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BeWZWqOAWZr/?taken-by=joyceduboise

Third Trimester Blues: Pregnant, Lonely, and in Pain

Loneliness

To describe how lonely I feel while dealing with all these pregnancy problems is nearly impossible.

But I will try…

I feel like I’m the only one who really understands the emotional turmoil pregnancy puts you through.

The women in my family have had different experiences and even so, after 10+ years, they tend to forget the real struggle.

As for my husband, obviously he doesn’t get it.

I don’t always express my real pain and feelings because I’m not one to be vocal about every little thing.

I don’t hate being pregnant.

I’m doing my best to truly embrace every moment because I know it will be over before I know it! I can deal with the physical part but it’s hard when your emotions are all over the place.

RELATED: 30 Things Moms are SICK of Hearing!

I’m not sure if any spouse can truly understand what we need as we carry a child.

I know it must be difficult to be my husband as he deals with my mood swings, exhaustion, and discomfort.

I don’t know what exactly he needs from me but I know what I need from him: extreme amounts of patience, lots of sympathy, pure selflessness (just for a few more weeks), affection, intimacy, massages, compliments, and maybe some special surprises every once in awhile.

There’s a lot on his shoulders as he works to provide for our family and I feel like a jerk for asking for anything other than that but I need it.

We, as mothers, need these things to keep us going in these last few months! It’s lonely and scary. The little sweet moments make it so much easier.

Constant Pain – everywhere!

Everything hurts in the third trimester. My back is on fire 24/7.

My lower back pain (from the baby bump) makes me hunch over when I stand and the pain the the top of my back (from my enlarged breasts) doesn’t get relief unless I lay straight on my back. Which, causes more lower back pain.

RELATED: How to be a Positive Thinker

People get a look of horror when I speak of pain in my belly but it’s real and it’s normal.

My ribs and lower abdomen are in agony from my sweet little angel kicking and punching me in the same spots over and over again.

Trust me, I'm beyond thankful to have a very active baby.

That doesn’t take away from the pain, though. Standing, laying, and basically moving at all are a complete struggle in the third trimester.

That baby is taking up all your space, which makes everything more difficult.

Third Trimester Blues: Lonely, Pain, Discomfort

Lack of Sleep

“Get as much sleep as you can, mama.” That’s all I hear but when you’re in constant pain, sleep is nearly impossible.

The discomfort is BAD! Every position presents a new ache in a new place. For me, my shoulders, back, and hips get all my weight when I sleep.

If you’re lucky, a full body pregnancy pillow will give you some sort of relief. Unfortunately, that’s not my luck this time around.

So, I rest when I can and literally thank the good Lord when I do get a good few hours of sleep.

Health concerns

Another contributor to my loneliness is the pressure of actually carrying a child for the first time.

I’m constantly worrying that I’ll eat the wrong thing or that I’ll become ill and my baby will suffer because of it.

RELATED: My Struggle With Gestational Diabetes During Pregnancy

People just don’t understand that we are selfish creatures. Our lives are spent inhaling things we shouldn’t and devouring anything we choose.

We are used to taking meds when we feel sick and overexerting ourselves whenever we need to.

Carrying a child stops ALL of that! Every single decision we make, as mothers, is with our child in mind.

That means we aren’t free to live a messy life.

We have no choice but to make the right choices even if it’s not easy or fun or exactly clear to us.

It’s easy to put your child first, but it’s STRESSFUL!

Any health concerns I’ve had during my pregnancy, overwhelm me with guilt. Even the pregnancy health issues that are way beyond my control.

It’s not logical but it’s what we really feel! It’s a never-ending, overwhelming sense of stress and pressure to be the perfect mommy.

Pregnancy Blues: Lonely, Pain, Discomfort
Third trimester blues is hidden by a smile

Major Decisions

As if we don’t already have enough going on, we have some huge decisions on the horizon.

At my last dr appointment she was running a million things by me all at once:

Pain meds, epidural, vaginal birth, c-section, induction, and I’m staring at her almost dumbfounded because THIS IS REAL and every decision is MINE!

RELATED: My Failed Epidural Birth Story

Every decision I make will impact my child, my family, and I. These decisions will forever be entrained into the memory book of life.

What if there are complications? What if my decision hurts my baby? Vaccinations. Feedings. Sleeping. Oh my!

I have a lot to think about and to plan for. I’ll follow my own intuition and keep Google as far away as possible.

I won’t be sharing my major medical decisions with anyone but my husband and the hospital because I don’t want my decisions altered because of someone’s opinions or own experiences.

RELATED: 45 Positive Affirmations for Women

I HAVE TO TRUST IN MYSELF, AS MY CHILD’S MOTHER.

These are my first decisions as a mommy and I need to trust my intuition. Women have been successfully having children for all of time, so why can’t I?

Pregnancy Blues: Lonely, Pain, Discomfort
33 Weeks Pregnant with lots of pain and discomfort!

Friends & Family reactions to the third trimester blues

If I can give one piece of advice to other women who are experiencing these issues, I’d say to share very little and find peace from within. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard:

It’s going to frustrate you, drive you crazy, and make you feel like you’re overreacting for having these feelings.

Well, you aren’t.

Every woman goes through this and the bliss of a new child helps them to forget these problems. It’s okay, mama!

Feel everything and don’t be ashamed of it!

It’s okay to cry, complain, and express yourself. Just be sure you’re sharing with the people who deserve to be by your side and remember that everyone has an opinion – everyone!

If you’re being criticized for your pregnancy journey then it’s their problem – not yours!

Stay strong. Be brave. & Good luck!

Did you feel pregnant and lonely in your third trimester?

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Jana says:

    THANK YOU for this! Just entered my third trimester with my first baby, and wow it feels so good to feel seen. Thank you.

  2. Joyce Santos says:

    Thank you so much for commenting. It’s hard. So damn hard sometimes. We tend to not talk about the hard stuff and I know we need to hear that we aren’t alone in this – even though it sure does feel like it. Stay strong and keep it moving, mama! You’re doing great!

  3. Eli Stevens says:

    I want to say thank you for being bold and real. I am 33 weeks and this is my second pregnancy. With my first, I was really sick and on an I/V during the first trimester. After that things got better and my daughter arrived 3 weeks early in good health. However, after 3 miscarriages, I am now expecting my boy. My husband tries his best but this has been the worst pregnancy from start to now. I have never felt pain like this before. Labor was easier than this pain. I literally cried all night last night and yes I did say I hated being pregnant. No position or pillow helps. Breathing is a huge challenge and the OB is saying he’s almost 5 pounds already. I am very small framed. I woke up praying this morning because I felt so bad for even uttering the words, I hated pregnancy. It’s so true that every pregnancy is so different. I think preggos need more blogs and support systems like this, so we know we are not alone.

  4. […] see, I’m a toddler mom who also happens to be pregnant. To add to the overall mom & pregnancy stress, I also work from home and don’t have a village to support me. I don’t have a babysitter, […]

  5. […] The struggle is real but all you can do is roll with the punches and do everything in your power to take care of that baby. So, that’s what I did. I took it day by day. It wasn’t easy, friends. […]

  6. […] have no shame in saying that I was extremely relieved to have this baby out of my body. The pregnancy pains topped with the failed epidural had me feeling completely miserable. After he was born – I […]

  7. […] giving your friend some grace, and it really opened my eyes. Am I too self-involved? I was in my third trimester of pregnancy at the time, so I was sure that I […]

  8. Joyce Santos says:

    Thank you so much for commenting!

    First of all, I am so sorry that you’re feeling this way. Honestly, it brings tears to my eyes to think that you are feeling so lonely in such a major time in your life.

    I remember feeling this way, too. It was hard to understand why nobody was making me a priority. Sadly, you may still feel lonely after you have your little one.

    The good news is

    You’re going to be a great mom! The fact that you’re worried already makes you one! You’ll be so focused on your little one that you’ll be the best mom.

    I recommend joining some Facebook groups to help you find other new moms who are feeling the same way. Communicating with like-minded women will help you to feel less alone.

    If it makes a difference, all my friends are online.

  9. Test says:

    I totally get the loneliness and pain of pregnancy.
    I am normally really social but as I get bigger and more uncomfortable I am struggling to organise and do social things. No one calls or visits me at home and I’m really starting to wonder if I have any real friends.
    Every time I do open up in front of people if feels like I may have said something super controversial or weird as people don’t really want to extend their discussions with me.
    I am really questioning how I can be a good mum to this poor baby when no one around me really seems to want to be around me.

  10. Megha says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences… as I was reading your article I felt as if I had written it… it’s honestly good to know that what I am going through is normal and I will feel real good soon… lots of blessing to you little one and your family…

  11. […] 9+ months. When you’re experiencing hormonal changes, feelings of fear & excitement, and extreme discomfort – the last thing you want to deal with is the loss of someone you […]

  12. Tara says:

    It’s such a relief that I’m not the only one who feels this way…This is my first pregnancy and I’ve been feeling so lonely throughout this whole thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love this child more than anything and am happy to be expecting, but I’m 34 weeks, still in school, and my boyfriend and I aren’t married yet so I’ve been feeling pressure from all across the board.
    I don’t even really understand how to explain my own emotions at this point. My boyfriend and I had all these plans about moving out and getting married after we graduated. But we’re putting baby first now because all our savings needs to go towards preparations and bills. I don’t think my family or friends are truly happy for me even, all the “congrats” that I’m hearing doesn’t sound genuine and I feel like I’ve become a disappointment to everyone…and my boyfriend doesn’t live with me yet…I only really get to see him on weekends because of school and work. I’m almost always feeling frustrated and sad – and can’t bear to hear that my emotions and feelings are just “a part of the pregnancy” or that they’re “insignificant” anymore.

  13. First of all, HUGE congrats on your pregnancy! I know it’s a rough time but boy, aren’t our bodies magical? I completely understand everything you’re feeling. There was even a moment while giving birth where I thought, “can everyone leave the room (even the drs) so I can do this alone” because people were getting on my damn nerves, haha! & HOW DARE he tell you to control your emotions! If only he knew how it feels!

    Thanks for commenting and being REAL about your feelings. I was so ridiculously OVER all the perfect moms telling me how beautiful pregnancy was. Nobody wants to tell you the bad shit that happens.

  14. Erica G says:

    Omg. Yes. Hallelujah. 1000%. This article is an absolute godsend and I appreciate you so much for writing this, took the words right out of my damn head. My partner wouldn’t even begin to understand the confusion and whirlwind of emotions that consume me as I approach my 37th week mark. “Try to control your emotions,” he says. Ohhh…yeah, I never thought of that! Thanks! ? It is so beyond mentally, emotionally and physically taxing I don’t even know how to process it, much less understand all of this. Sprinkle in a little frustration & anger from your child’s father and you’ve got yourself one nice big generous cocktail of “I am one goddamn emotional trainwreck.” I feel like I have entered my primal survival instincts and just want everyone to leave me the f*** alone as I crawl into a desolate cave somewhere and await labor. Ideally, I would like the comfort and empathy of others, but it seems that people just want to give their stupid, useless, annoying opinions and it really just worsens the unpredictable state of my already fragile psyche. This is my 1st pregnancy and I could have never imagined that I would ever feel this way. I don’t need some half-ass, backhanded cliché comment about how “it’s all worth it.” No f***ing shit, Captain Obvious, if I didn’t think it was, I wouldn’t have made it this far. All I want is solace and the peace of mind that I will soon return to my regular self and pray that I don’t get a visit from this one’s ugly sister, PPD.

  15. Aww thank you so much girl! That must have been so scary and tough! Not enough people talk about the scary moments and the struggles. It’s nice to know we aren’t alone!

  16. Diana @ NannyToMommy says:

    You are so beautiful inside and out. Thank you for sharing the real ness. I had issues with my first too. I was the first of my friends to get pregnant and I had to be put on bed rest for the last month because of pre-eclampsia. It was horribly lonely. It’s wonderful you have this outlet. And just know although I have never met you, I consider you a friend and care about you.

  17. Beeb Ashcroft says:

    PREACH! I think people get rose tinted glasses – after their baby arrives and everything calms down, they just think about how good things are NOW and ignore all the stress they experienced during it. I think some people are afraid to be honest because it’s like they’re afraid people won’t have kids if they say anything other than hearts and flowers about it, which is SO dumb. This is the same reason why women with post-partum depression feel so isolated too. Good for YOU for giving hope to other women reading this who are in the same boat and too afraid to speak up.

  18. Thank you SO much for this!! It really is frustrating and obnoxious, especially when others have been through it before but pretend that it was all sunshine and rainbows for them. It’s OKAY for me to have a voice and speak on how I’m feeling, when I’m feeling it. It’s not easy to deal with everything at once and I don’t need to fake it to make others happy!

  19. Beeb Ashcroft says:

    There is nothing more obnoxious than when people dismiss your pain with platitudes. “It’s all worth it!” Well no s**t Sherlock!! Acknowledging the reality of what you’re dealing with doesn’t mean you’re “Wallowing”. It’s moments like these when you most need someone to just commiserate, not wave you off. There’s something of a taboo in society with women saying *Anything* about their pregnancy that isn’t all sunshine and butterflies, and it needs to stop. I’ve never gone through this myself, but I personally can’t imagine how any woman could be nearing the end of their pregnancy and NOT be completely freaking out, even in a standard situation, never mind what you’re dealing with in your life. I hope some other mommas will see this post and chime in with some real talk ! <3

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. This post may contain affiliate links and/or promotional products, all opinions expressed are that of But First, Joy only. Read my full disclosure