When you put joy first, everything else just falls into place. This isn't to say that it's easy to find your joy. In a world full of negativity, trauma, and unpredictable things, joy can be lost. Here's something people rarely say about joy – you have to find it, create it, and work for it. In other words, joy doesn't come naturally. Just like everything in life, if you aren't intentionally working for it, it probably isn't going to happen for you.
Instead of giving you a list of things you could be doing to find your joy, like positive affirmations and investing in yourself, I want to tell you all of the negative things you can remove from your life. After all, we don't have room for everything in our lives, so let's remove the ugly things and fill those spaces with happiness.
10 things to remove from your life in order to make room for joy.
These are the joy-suckers in life; the things we scoff at when we hear or see them coming our way. Take it from me – you will never find your joy if these things have a place in your life.
Gossip is never a good thing – ever. Whether you realize it or not, you're harming yourself by allowing negative energy to take up space in your life. Another person's life isn't yours to judge or speak about. You're ignoring any boundaries you should have for yourself. If you open up the door to gossip, you can expect to hear gossip about your friends and yourself. If you want to attract the right people, gossiping is not the way to do it.
Excuses are extremely harmful to your personal growth. If you aren't accomplishing your goals and you're okay with that – you're excusing yourself from being successful. Success isn't money – it's achieving the things you set your mind to. Don't excuse your own behavior and don't excuse the behavior of others. Your joy is dependent on how much wrongdoing you allow in your life.
As a woman, it isn't uncommon to be your own worst enemy. As cliché as that sounds, we've all experienced self-doubt and we've experienced it often. Self-Doubt leads to negative self-talk which is absolutely detrimental to your mental wellbeing. Have a little faith in yourself and you'll begin to see joy manifesting in your life.
Comparison is a complete joy sucker and you don't deserve to be compared to anyone. Likewise, you shouldn't compare others to you. Comparison is all a matter of opinion and false perception of reality. Just because you think someone's life is fabulous doesn't mean it is. Perfectly staged photos, stories of success, and lavish vacations are just pieces of people's lives. Your journey is yours. In fact, that's what makes you so special – nobody is like you!
It's been scientifically proven that clutter causes stress, anxiety, and depression. I can personally attest to the anxiety and stress clutter causes in my life. Why do you think Marie Kondo's Decluttering Method became so popular? People not only want order and organization, they need it! I fully support the KonMarie method of getting rid of anything that doesn't “spark joy”. It just makes sense!
6. Unfulfilled Friendships
Breaking up with friends is hard to do but sometimes, it's necessary. When you have the courage to end a friendship because it isn't fulfilling your life – you will find joy. If your friends are making you feel neglected, less than, or negative – it's time to move on without them. Nobody wants those kinds of friends.
7. One-Sided Relationships
In addition to letting go of unfulfilled friendships, you need to remove one-sided relationships from your life. Any relationship with a friend, family member, or significant other that has you giving more than your fair share – isn't good for your mental or emotional health. Relationships are like gardens – you need to feed & water the flowers for them to flourish. If you're the only one putting in the effort – maybe it's time to take a step back to reevaluate these relationships.
Stop it – right now. How will you ever find your joy if you're waiting for it to come to you? Start working on yourself now. Happiness is in the palm of your hand but you're waiting until later to do it. Procrastination leads to stress and anxiety because you're allowing the must-do tasks weigh heavily on your shoulders.
9. Broken Promises
I've said it before and I will say it again – stop breaking promises to yourself. Practice what you preach, sister! If you say that you're going to do something, even if it's in your own head, don't neglect that idea. Keep that promise to yourself. Additionally, you should always be keeping the promises you've made to others. Don't be the person who is unreliable. Being dependable is a wonderful feeling. Not only will you be opening the door to your own happiness – you'll be that joy in someone else's world.
Let go of fear because it's holding you back from everything you deserve and desire. The moment I stepped out of my comfort zone was the moment my life changed. My life began to flourish in all areas: motherhood, my marriage, and my career. I was manifesting my dreams just by doing the things that gave me that pit in my stomach. Now, I'm a better woman because of it and you will be, too!
I hope after reading this post, you work to find your joy in all great things in this life! You deserve to be happy and if you don't think so, I recommend checking out these 45 Positive Self Affirmations for Women. Positive self-talk makes a world of a difference!
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